Contact me at markploftus@aol.com

One of the nice things about running your own practice is the options it gives you when it comes to taking clients. At a big firm, some stuffed shirt marches in, assigns you some client and you have to do the work - even if the client is crazy, slimy or both. Thankfully I can pick and choose my clients. And sometimes there are little hints that you really don't want to represent the person sitting across the table from you. The following is a little list I put together that helps me decide if I want to take a case or client.

TEN REASONS NOT TO TAKE A CASE

10. You ain't the first stop buster. If three or four of your brethren have turned down a case it probably hasn't improved with age.

9. To fight for principle. When your client says the money "isn't important" take a long, long look. To Kill A Mockingbird is one of my favorite movies, but principle won't feed your family.

8. To do that friend/relative/ex-girlfriend a favor. Big mistake. These cases never get resolved quickly and you probably won't get paid. Next time they want a favor, cut their lawn[if however, the ex-girlfriend dumped you, don't bother].

7. Cause you don't want to join a committee. When your client tells you that a friend/therapist/paralegal/probation officer/psychic or whoever will be reviewing your work, cut them loose. First, by telling you, they are admitting that they don't have much confidence in you. Secondly, the mope that your client wants to drag into the equation[who is never a lawyer]will never agree with anything you do. Send the entire committtee packing.

6. The case they want you to take sucks. Oh yeah, this one is important. Should probably be higher on the list.

5. Your client has goofy expectations. Your client turned down medical assistance at the scene. She elected not to get any medical treatment for months. When she did get treatment, it amounted to two office visits. But she reads the newspaper and she is entitled to "six figures". Maybe on Mars, where she is from, but not here on earth. Refer her to that guy who raised his hand at the end of class in law school.

4. The referral source stinks. The guy who runs the practice over the Subway? The one who has been suspended from the practice of law... twice? Yeah, that one. Those cases he wants you to take? Under no circumstances should you take them. Unless of course you want to create a niche practice - specializing in the representation of intoxicated persons who fall and hit their heads on their bathtubs.

3. It comes in on the eve of trial. You get a call from a lawyer who heard you are looking for work. He's got a case coming up for trial and he can't try it. He will graciously cut you on half the fee if you try it and win. Whadda think? I think not. You will learn that there are a couple of things missing. Like evidence. Yeah, you don't stand a snowball's chance in hell of winning. Oh, and the depositions you'll need? Never taken. And the trial subpoenas? What trial subpoeanas??? That case is a mess and you'll keep some of the stink if you try it. Thank him for his kindness and don't answer next time he calls.

2. You can't do it. It's okay. Admit it. You just don't remember the maritime stuff you learned in law school. Should probably refer that "high seas" case to someone who does.

1. Your client is batshit crazy. Self-explanatory.