Contact me at markploftus@aol.com

After the verdict last week in Houston, the folks at Metabolife International are likely having some sleepless nights. Metabolife is the marketer for the Metabolife supplement that contained ephedra. Ephedra had once been an enormously popular weight loss aid with nearly 12 million users. It acted like an amphetamine, speeding the heart rate and constricting blood vessels. Unfortunately however, it ultimately became linked to approximately 155 deaths, including Baltimore Oriole pitcher Steve Belcher. [It is now banned by the federal government]. Metabolife had claimed that its supplement had no adverse affects and that the company had exhaustive safety monitoring protocols in place. Rhea McAllister believed the ads and began taking the Metabolife supplement in the 2000. In 2002 she suffered a devastating stroke that left her numb on one side, and with memory deficits and other problems. She sued Metabolife, alleging that it had lied to federal and state regulators about the potential side affects. Metabolife argued that Rhea's injuries were more likely due to her use of oral contraceptives. The jury agreed with Rhea and awarded her $7.4 million dollars gross, with $2.4 compensatory damages and approximately $5 million in punitive damages. A number of other Epedra suits are lined up waiting for trial...

Quick News from the Black Robe Department...

According to recent reports, the Oklahoma attorney general wants to remove a sitting judge, claiming he frequently masturbated and used an erection enhancing device[hereinafter referred to as a pump]...WHILE COURT WAS IN SESSION!!!!!!! Attorney General Drew Edmondson filed the petition with state judidical authorities seeking the removal of Judge Donald Thompson for "conduct constituting an offense involving moral turpitude in violation of the Oklahoma Constitution." The Attorney General charged in his petition that the pump was apparently often put to use during trials. In addition, the Judge apparently exposed himself several times to a court reported while masturbating on the bench. Finally, the Court reporter apparently observed the Judge[and I am not making this stuff up- who could?]"...holding his penis up and shaving underneath it with a disposable razor while on the bench." [Whoa. Now that last part raises all kinds of questions - no pun intended]. In addition, other witnesses said in the petition that they heard the "swooshing" sound of a penis pump being activated while in the courtroom. You'd think a sitting judge would be able to afford a quieter model. And why are people in Oklahoma so damn familiar with the "swoosh" sound a penis pump makes when activated? In any event, the judge was not immediately available for comment. Yeah, like there is anything this guy could ever say that would make this behavior seem normal.